Delivering a Package to a Private Residence

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1: Approach the door of the residence very quietly, preferably unseen. 

2: DO NOT ring the doorbell or knock. 
Instead, whisper quietly are you home?" three times in a row.

3: Using your worst handwriting, make a series of confusing marks and scribbles on a 'sorry we missed you' slip. Make sure to note that you tried 3 times to deliver this package. 
Stick the slip to the door.

4: Put the package back on the truck, never to be seen again.

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